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Writer's pictureKendra

When should I announce my pregnancy?

Updated: Apr 8, 2021

First of all, if you are reading this post because you are pregnant... Congratulations! Upon discovering that you are pregnant, you might want to tell the whole world! Or, you might want to keep it a secret. There are no rules as to when to announce a pregnancy. It is a decision completely based on your preferences.


Why people announce...


This one is probably a no brainer! In short, you are excited and can't wait to tell everyone! But the more philosophical answer is that as human beings, we long for connection with our fellow humans. One way that we connect is through sharing our experiences with others, creating the opportunity to empathize. My favourite definition of empathy comes from Romans 12:15 which reads "Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn." You are most likely overjoyed at this exciting new life growing inside you, or you wouldn't be reading articles on when to announce! It is normal to yearn to have others rejoice with you!


Why people wait...


The unfortunate reality is that miscarriage and stillbirth are real possibilities during pregnancy. The most common reason people want to wait to announce their pregnancies is due to fear that this may happen to them. This possibility may or may not be a deterrent to you announcing your pregnancy to people.


Before I go any further, let me say that there is nothing mystical about telling others. You aren't going to "jinx" it by telling people, nor will telling others "secure" your pregnancy. The same goes for the emotions that you feel. I know many people who feel guilty after a miscarriage because they believe they weren't "excited enough," or on the flip side, who feel that they caused their miscarriages because they "jinxed" it by being too excited and telling too many people. Neither of these perceptions is true. The loss of a baby at any trimester of pregnancy is not anyone's fault. We all do what we can with the information that we have, and we all want our babies to be born healthy, alive, and safe. When an unfortunate event like this happens who we told is not one of all reasons why it could have occurred.


With that being said... What can be magical about telling others about your pregnancy is the human connection and empathy that we share. Just as we "rejoice with those who rejoice," we also "mourn wit those who mourn." If you want people to be able to mourn with you and support you in the event of a loss, then it might be important to also announce your pregnancy to them. With each individual or group of people you consider telling about your pregnancy, you can ask yourself the following questions:

  • Why do I want this person to know I am pregnant? (excitement, technical reasons such as planning for doctor appointments or maternity leave)

  • In what ways might this person be able to support me if I did suffer a loss at this point in my pregnancy? (emotional support, help with housework, time off work, etc.)

  • Based on my assumptions of how this person will respond in each situation, do I want this person knowing I am pregnant?

You will notice I didn't quote statistics of the likelihood of miscarriage or when it usually occurs. That is because the timing of your pregnancy announcement shouldn't be based on the likelihood of a miscarriage, but rather, should be based on your expectations of support from those you are announcing your pregnancy to.


Remember, there are many groups of people you can announce to, and you may announce to different people in different stages of your pregnancy based on your relationship with them. Here are some individuals and groups of people to consider:

  • spouse/partner

  • immediate family

  • extended family

  • close friends

  • employer

  • coworkers

  • social media/the world


This topic can feel heavy once you realize the reason why so many people hide their pregnancies in the early stages. My encouragement to you: while it is important to consider the possibilities of loss, don't let that hold you back from being excited. Your little one is already there in your tummy! So whether you decide to tell the world or hold on to your precious secret a while longer, love your baby with all your might! I live by the philosophy that we should never let fear hold us back from loving others. So go love on your little one!


"There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear."

-1 John 4:18




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